Thursday, December 28, 2017

Star Trek: Discovery, Is a big Fuck You to the fans


So, Why you keep watching? Well let's say, right now, it's a masochistic thing, right?

I have just two rules for sequels, remakes, reboots, prequels, whatever...

Rule number 1) You gotta be good. Be good, right? And this is like Prime Directive, cause if the thing is good enough I don't even care about rule number two...

Rule number 2) Be faithful to the spirit of the original.

Ok, so let's go basic here. The name of the show alludes to a travel, a journey through long distances, a trip to the stars, to the exploration aspects of that journey, with perhaps arduous moments or even perilous...

This is the essence of the franchise, the people in it are explorers, adventurers, scientists, diplomats...

They represent the best humanity has to offer, in a bright future were we leave all our differences aside: people from different religions, civilizations, colors, even worlds and races, they all get together, joined with one goal in mind: to explore, to gain and share knowledge, discover (like in Discovery! Isn't that like the most appropriate title for a Trek show?... Isn't that opening sequence a work of art? The guy that made that shit, he really knows what Star Trek is all about... you should put him in charge)...

(Nope: WAAAAAR FUCK YOUUUU!!!! I'M GONNA STAB YOU TO DEATH, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!)

That was what Gene Rodenberry envisioned back in the 60's. He wanted to make that optimistic show, in a world that in some ways was even darker than the one we are living today... That world was on the verge of large-scale nuclear conflict...

At the same time, the 60's were an innocent period, where there was still some room for hope



You had all this people fighting for the minority rights (like Martin Luther King and that other guy? Charles X?) people fighting against the war in Vietnam, and even the motherfucking hippies: they wanted to make the world a better place (by not showering, fucking each other like rabbits, and taking some good old acid...)

Yes! they failed horribly, but they tried, right?
These days... We... we develop into, like cynical, lazy, indifferent assholes: We don't even fucking care anymore!     

Ok, back to Star Trek.

These "explorers" from the show would eventually find some trouble, face violence and all sort of threats. But how would they address these? Well, resorting to dialogue, to understanding and appreciating the other side, reaching agreements, getting mutual accords. That's the Federation way, and that has always been the moral of the show. 
Even when the conflict is inevitable (like in a lot of episodes of most  of the series) at least they try to solve their problems through diplomacy. And when they not, they somehow learn that violence is never the answer.

(That's for pussies, I rather have WAAAR)

So, how do we got here? Well 50 years have passed and Toto, we are not in the 60's anymore.

Most people who made the original show are now dead. Audiences changed and TV with them. The old Science Fiction weekly episode format is no longer feasible. It's all about the big picture now: at least 8 seasons on netflix, you missed a couple of episodes
and you're fucked! But that's modern show business, What can you do? 

Also let's be real, Sci-Fy is kind of dry. Sci-fy presents you an ethical problem, usually in the future, - it might be linked to technology -, and reflects on that problem, most times adopting a philosophical point of view...

And all that it's kind of... dull... you know? by nature, it's slow, not easy to get your mind around, and it guards no definitive answers. 

It's hard, it's painful... some people call it boring... but it's rewarding. It fulfills you, like a good meal, because is not easy to make. Is not junk food.

Or as that famous poet D. T. Somerset puts it: 

“Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light.” 

I mean it's easier to smoke some crack, and just keep watching your dumb super hero action show. Love costs. It takes effort and work. And people don't want that! They want to eat cheeseburgers, play lotto and watch some Television.

They don't want Sci-Fy!!! They want Action and Drama. They want War. 


Enter, Star Trek: Discovery. What a shocker, uh?!




Now like I say the name of the show is such a fucking joke, right?

So it is the name of Gene Rodenberry in the opening credits (Based upon... etc), cause he must be rolling over in his grave.

Cause the show is about war, and hate, and murder, and treason, and weapons of mass destruction, animal torture, animal experimenting, biological warfare, suicidal vulcan fanatics, prisoners rape.  sex with ugly cougars,




Each episode is like they reach a new low. I'm not even exaggerating. It goes against everything Rodenberry believed in (Who cares what an old fart thought right?)

This should be called Star Wars but not even Star Wars is about actual war (except perhaps that depressing piece of crap, Rogue One, if you haven't watch it, I won't ruin it for you:  everybody dies by the end)

What are people blaming Michael Burnham for? (Oh I can fucking hear to the writer that chose that stupid name. Smoking and explaining: "She's called Burnham because she has been burned")

I mean I know what she did, I know how stupid and impulsive she is,  What I don't understand is why the writers made her character be raised among Vulcans.

She's like the anti-vulcan character. She's all about impulsiveness, irrationality and emotions (in one sentence, she's a woman!).

What are the other characters exactly blaming her for?!
Is it for killing the first Klingon, like the one that was trying to start-up the torch thing-u?




But that was completely in self-defense... Ok, but maybe the other characters don't know that... But she knows it! and still blame herself in later episodes.

Is it for mutiny and try to launch an attack against the Klingon vessel? I guess. But she didn't succeed in that!
So that act of sedition had no real consequences. And then when she escape-save herself from the cell, Michelle Yeoh doesn't seclude her in another cell, so I'm guessing she forgives her? or at the very least that she though Michael Burnham was right from the beginning, that perhaps the way to avoid war was actually to show those damn Klingons some power. In any case she thinks the plan of kidnapping the Klingon Holy Man is dah shit brilliant (even though is the most stupid reckless thing ever). 

Is it for killing the Klingon leader? Don't get me wrong there's no way I could ever get why she turned her laser from stun to kill specially when she's the one saying "That would make a martyr out of him" just like, What? 3 minutes before?

But shouldn't the federation blame Michelle Yeoh for it? She was the one in charge. Ok you need to blame someone and you're not going to blame the dead. I get it. But... Yeah... I just think it's a bit strong to say Michael Burnham ignite an entire intergalactic war.

It would be great if the show presented things in a way that made all the other characters blame and mistreat her for starting the war but she were actually innocent... then you could empathize with her, maybe even like her... Or not. Go the opposite direction. Make her destroy the Klingon vessel at the exact time when all the other Klingon houses were rejecting the idea of going to war. And yeah, the attack then change their minds.

Then you could make a character in need for redemption out of her. Because as it is right now, the only thing you feel for her is rejection on behalf of how stupid she acts. And so, this way she has become the worst thing a human being can possibly be: 
she is a fucking moron. 

But like I said, each episode is a new low...
And then some writer got the stupid idea of making Vulcans, I mean goddamn motherfucking Vulcans... part of some Jihad cult or something. Like I need to be reminded that there is a world out there in my Sci-Fy escapist show: You got a Vulcan committing bombing suicide, activating some kind of organic bomb, because he's a member of some extreme racist faction.

Vulcans: who are all about logic, no feelings, the passions of the soul... nothing is too drastic, or extreme with them...
Yeah I know Spok almost killed Kirk once because he was in heat... But he was in heat, right? and...



Ending an episode putting emphasis there's a gay couple on the ship? And then you have like the actor screaming "intolerant" people for disliking it (and also: "Kevin Spacey wanted to touch my we wee when I was 14!" You know, I sympathize with you, but boy, just kick him in the nuts!!! And then go tell your mom )

But I, just happen to find of very poor taste to put it at the END of the episode (and not somewhere in the middle), the end, where in modern shows you usually use a twist for your audiences to be hooked up until next week. Is not something casual!  (Like what they did on Beyond. Which is in my opinion really insulting to George Takei's sexuality which happens to be real, not something made for a character in a fictional world. It's also sending the message that gay people can only play gay characters. And Hollywood do believe that shit: look at Ellen Page's career since she came out. Is not only me, George disapproves it, basically he said: I am gay. The character wasn't.) 

Here is like them saying: "Hey Look: Gay People. We're being controversial here! it's  a big deal, See you next week"

No! It's not a big deal. Making Kirk kissing Uhura, that was big back in the 60's when black people were not allowed to shit in the front of the bus.

These days every show has a gay character. And you know What? They're usually minor side characters, like... here. 
And  a bit neurotic, a bit annoying, like... here, here. 

Do you wanna shake the world? Make your main character, the protagonist a lesbian, that would be big: you don't see that every day. I though they were going for it with the whole Tilly roommate... (maybe I'd just love to see those two fuck?)

So Fuck you STD creators! YOU are the prejudice assholes!


And people then complain, about the stupidest shit. Like the way the Klingons look. Or they point out the STD thing (Yes! They were so dumb, they didn't realize that was going to be the acronym for the show... forever)
But I don't care. STD: it sounds cool to me.  At the very least It implies that you had sex one time in your life. (Yes, I know you could also get it like in a filthy public bathroom. But that didn't work when you told it to your Waifu, and it won't work here)

There are also some cool STDs, I'm not talking about High Five.

But Like Clap. Clap is not that bad. And when you look at it objectively, Herpes is just a skin disorder. Yes it's ugly and messy, like fucking a Lepper but you know, it could be exotic...

And STDs could even be funny. That's why we put them funny names like Crotch critters, Sock Puppets, The Blue Waffle, Cockroaches, Throwing the Chancla, French Crabs, Bieber Fever, The German Angst, The clam rot, The Spanish Pox, That Gooey Disgusting Green Stuff that's dripping from your Vagina,
Geena Davis and The Flies... 





The show is not all that bad. I mean by the end there's something like startreksie there, but by then you lost me already...


I hate all the characters, I hate the story, I hate the atmosphere, I hate the look... I hate all of it.

 I HATE YOU STAR TREK STD!!!  (by pelida77)