Her (2013): Whatta fuck is this movie?!

Her (2013, Spike Jonze)

Dude, we all like mind games. Opening a fake profile to chat with young ladies, that's totally cool! Normal stuff. Talking dirty to Siri? , we all tried that...

What we don't do, what is not allowed to do since the days the rules of the Nicomaquean Ethic were established, is Fucking our operative systems... 

(usually with Microsoft you are the one getting fucked)

I can understand Joaquin Phoenix felling in love for his laptop, I mean is the future and all and we are dealing with like a real AI here. What seems to me a little unbelievable is him FUCKING it when IT doesn't even have a body, and saying dirty disgusting stuff you don't even say to a crack whore (and you can tell your worst secret to a crack whore): 

"Can you feel me inside? oh yes yes I'm inside you!

I'm eating your invisible cunt now! YES YES"

I'm picturing the scene. Like good Warren says:

But come on! Siri is also having an orgasm?! WTF is this movie?

And then when he sort of realize all of this is kind of weeeeird, "she" start complaining about how they haven't had sex in a while... and then the "Tell me you love me" crap, and "What do you mean is not true?" crap... Scary... even a simulation of a female ends up doing that... and then she tries to rationalize, but NO! you can't rationalize this: you don't have a body. Period girl. You lost the argument! Next she'll probably start using her witchcraft, right?

That reminds me that's one of the reasons why I loved Ex-Machina so much, the AI's had like nice tiny bodies... though that's a plot hole right there cause: if Poe Dameron is building a hot robot with a vagina, Why in da hell would he want it to think?

In the wise words of Olivia Newton, the 13, this one is a CREEPY as fuck dude...

He's not normal, I mean think about it, if a mind blowing hot extremely drunken bitch pull out her little act before sex like all bitches do:  "Wait, wait. You're not just gonna fuck me and not call me like all the other guys, right, right??"

What would you do? What's the normal way?

TO LIE MADDAFACKA!!!, to lie your brains out!

"Of course not sugar! How can you say that!? You poor little creature: you must have been through a lot" (by the way that implies you know she's a fucking tramp) 

And then you hug her, and suggest not having sex that night, let's just wait, you say... but you spill more wine in her glass (that tip right there is for free you sorry sob)

And then he does it a second time. The OS is now offering: hey why don't we use this blonde hooker (with a warm blood body) and we can pretend it's me?... yeah a little weird. But not much weirder than... you know... putting your penis in a glory hole or pretending you're fucking your operative system!!! 

What do you do? Well you have sex, real intercourse, of course! But no, he complains about the lipquid! Well dude... you know... hookers are like that. They use the cheap stuff.

They need their money to spend on paying rent or buying crack and shit. 

And most of them just assume YOU WON'T MIND ABOUT THEIR FUCKING LIPQUID!!! 

What a creepo! And when he is playing the videogame and the controls made him move his hands in a bizarre way? like a reptile? That's him. A disgusting lizard or something.

This movie... the entire experience is like... Do you remember that movie, Vegas Baby... Vegas!? Swingers? When John Fabreu knows this girl and gets her phone, and later he calls her, and leave her a message on the answer machine, and keeps calling her over and over and over like 10 times leaving messages. And in the final message he just confess he's been dumped recently. That scene makes you feel sooo uncomfortable. Painful to watch...

Well this movie is like two hours of that fucking scene! Intolerable. 

Specially when he's talking to his ex wife. 

DUDE!!!, why are you telling her about this terrible TERRIBLE things you do when you are alone?There are tons of things we do when we are alone but we keep those quiet! It should be your secret!

And one more time he confess now with Amy Adams, who by the way looks like shit in this movie!

Is like they were actively trying to fuck this movie in every possible way. "Hey, let's make Amy look like crap!" 

Ok. I get it. It's a movie about an insane person, modern world loneliness, social media emptiness or whatever. You can find more about that here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RISgjGPkA0

But there's a total lack of sense on how creepy his whole behavior is, and that makes it even worse.

A crazy person that doesn't realize how crazy he is. 

"When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!"? Yeah. Do you guys do that?"