So, the new Star Wars movie is out. And all the people sort of loved it. Yeah you got the typical asshole saying "Oh, is just Episode IV all over again; they even had a Death Star"
Well, first of all if you are a true fan don't fucking call it Episode IV, I mean WTF! Speak well!
The name is Star Wars. Star Wars! That's the way people called it the first time they saw that shit. I refuse to even use "A new hope", and that, let me tell you, has a liiittle more history... but Episode IV? Really? Episode IV?)
I mean the movie wasn't fantastic, a work of art or the best Star Wars movie ever... these are some of the dumb things people are saying. But it was good. Quite good actually. Plain good old fun. And that's the whole point, isn't it?
Think about it, it's a miracle! We were all expecting Jar Jar Abrams to fail horribly. I mean, why not He already completely misunderstood and mislead Star Trek (though I do believe them to be fun movies too, they're just not good Trek movies). But that wasn't a big issue cuz in the past we got Generations, Insurrection or Nemesis (and you can't do worst than that) Besides Star Trek has always been smaller, a cult thing... for us: nerds and freakies. Our thing.
But this was a titanic task. We not only wanted him to recover the magic of a 40 years old movie!!! but doing it by using the same actors!!! Unbelievable!!!
Every movie I've seen with Harrison Ford (73 years old) in the last 15 years or so has been shit, shit, and mostly because of him (with the exception of 42, he does a very competent grandpa there).
I know Carrie Fisher (age 59) had a Looot of drug and boose issues, but damn she looks old!!! (kids stay away from substances!) older than my grandmother, and she's not with us anymore. I wonder if they though about putting her again in the Slave Leia costume...? By the way there's a Slave Leia Costume Apreciation Society (SLECAS) not joking, check it out!:
Mark Hamill losed himself in Scifi/Horror B movies hell back in the 90's; but he managed to sort of get out with his amazing voice acting abilities. I'm not gonna insist on this too much because everybody did... yeah they are old, who cares... We the fans, we love these guys.
And for me Harrison Ford was like the best part of this movie... if you don't count that guy dress as a giant dog hitting on that Grand-Milf nurse (I think they though if they used a hot teen there it would look creepy... maybe it would).
We love the movie, and we got pretty excited for the next one... End of the story.
But then you got like all this people, critics, nerds, freakies, fans, punching on George Lucas.
"Do you see George? Do you see? This is how it's done." "This is a good movie George. Not like your prequels." "We hated your Alien Indiana Jones too!" "Do you see George?" Like an annoying child...
Yeah. People making wood out of the fallen tree. And that's perfectly fine cause he's a jerk and deserves all the pun.
But some of them are saying REALLY stupid shit like: "Force Awakens was a better movie cuz it had
practical effects and not any of that computer crap" Well this one was heavy on CGI, but whatever.
Sometimes I think all people, except me of course, lost their long time memory or something,
like that guy from Memento: Guy Pierce? Or perhaps, way more probable, all the commentators / movie critics over the internet are just a bunch of retarded fucking kids. Cause I remember those days when the prequels were made. And let me tell you I hated the prequels with all my heart and Episode One above them all. I could talk hours scrutinizing every little detail and pointing out everything that's wrong in these moving pictures. But one thing I won't do is criticize the use of Computer Generated Imagery in these movies. And not because it doesn't look like shit, cause it does look like shit! but because I understand the time these movies come from.
In 1995 John Lasseter shocked the world by producing the very first long feature computer animated movie. And my grandfather (rest in peace) talked to me about these two amazing movies he have just seen. In one of them... could you believe this shit? there were dinosaurs. Real Dinosaurs!!!
In the other one, a way less exciting subject for a kid, they made some guy shake his hand with president Lindsay Johnson or something. Yeah...
But there were dinosaurs in the first one! A Tyranosaur, and the one that spit green goo on your face and make you blind, and the huge long neck ones, and raptors (btw one thing I really hate of the 2nd movie is the guy with the hat explaining what a raptor is... fuck you! thanks to the firs movie I know what a raptor is: it's a mean motherfucking dinosaur!). Jurassic Park is not a good example cause Spielberg is a visual genius and it has a lot of practical effects, animatronics, puppets and shit...
But they knew how to make those things since the 70s... the point is they only felt the confidence to produce a movie like JP since they knew they could correct some of the shit that didn't look so good with CGI.
I remember a documentary on TV explaining how they made this incredible scene on Titanic everybody was talking about. Was it Rose silk soaked in minus 8 degrees cold water with an axe on her hand? Nope. Cold. Cold. Was it when the ship finally sank? And you see all that stunt people 10 meters sliding over wood. No. Cold.
It was Ice. It was the boat hitting the iceberg scene, and you see all the little pieces of Ice dropping over the board. People were amazed by that! And you got some animators proudly explaining how they made ice look so real with their fucking computers.
Those were the days when the first prequel was made! Can you believe that?
For Episode One I was in the theater opening day. And you could breath the geek's disappointment over the air. And on that day I heard all sort of shit about this movie. But the one thing I didn't hear is complaints about the special effects. People hated that fucking rabbit that spoke like an asshole, but they were ok with the special effects on this movie and that includes him, cause we had never seen before (almost) a CGI character talking with a real human on a AAA before: Mary fucking Poppins style!
That wasn't a thing. The effects were fine.
Some even got to say that the movie was bad but at least had the best space flying battle scene ever ;people said that the light-saber duels were amazing
(yeah, both dumb things to say! but it kind of shows you the time),
Saying that Episode One is a bad movie because of the CGI, is like punning on old 70's Sci-Fy movies because they had those computer boards with all the little different color lights turning on and off, buttons, and fuses, and shit...
Ok, so they have warping technology but they can't even make a digital control board?
It looks like crap, but you don't care. Because these are movies from another era. And if the movie is good enough you don't even look into that shit.
The most amazing special effects won't make a bad movie to be good, and the most crappy painted carton box pretending to be a command center won't take you out if the movie is fun...
Well that's that: hate to the prequels. Waiting for Rogue One now. God bless Star Wars
