Blade Runner 2049 and don Quixote

Blade Runner 2049 is a great sequel, and the thing is the most great about it: is not really a sequel. Is its own thing.  (By the way, you know? Disregarding what I've just said, In my pop twisted mind, this is a trilogy, and the second one is Oshi Mamoru's 1995 Ghost in the Shell)   

It's a Science Fiction film at its core (with a kind of detective neo-noir thing), but the secondary plot is sort of a romantic story between Officer KD9-3.7 (Whom I strongly suspect is a replicant) and an AI called Joi. 

First of all, it reminded me - of course -, of the movie Her (2016) But without the whole creepiness of it... I don't know why?!... Maybe because it seems so natural that K being not a human, being a replicant, could fall for an AI... Robots do dream of electrical sheep!

But, you know, at least K doesn't look as much of a perv as Joaquin Phoenix's Theodore! (Maybe just because he doesn't have like a cleft lip?) 

They both fell for their Operative Systems, but at least Ryan Goslin is not pretending to fuck thin air while masturbating to the sound of Siri (and he doesn't complain about the hooker's lipquid... that gives him points)

So yeah Spike Jonze's Her, but mainly... Weird!!! Yes, it reminded me of don Quixote!!!

Of course, I wouldn't dare to say that don Quixote, the 17th century Miguel de Cervantes novel, somehow influenced the work of a 2017 science fiction movie (or the other way around).

What I'm trying to say is that art tend to portray the ultimate truths, the eternal ideas, the greater myths...

The same things that affected the audiences (or readers) back in 1605, move us now... Because even though those filthy motherfuckers (literally) dumped the contents of their bedpans right into the already filthy streets, they were not complete savages!!! They were human beings, and they cried and they laughed, and get aroused or simply excited by the same things we do. We are not that different!

So yeah, for me it depicts a topic... I don't know how to call it, maybe: The Fall of the ideal Woman.

We think of don Quixote as this crazy old man that believes to be a chevalier, and goes out to the very prosaic region of La Mancha looking for adventures; but really the novel is about a man that dreams he's in love, that searches for love in the world, and commits and serves to this love unconditionally... at least that's the way don Quixote sees himself.

In his mind he builds this ideal woman, Dulcinea del Toboso, based upon a peasant from a near town: Aldonza Lorenzo.

Among many other things the Quixote is also a romantic novel (there's probably very few chapters were Dulcinea is not at least mentioned once)

And even don Quixote says that a Chevalier without a lady to love, is not a Chevalier at all... (a bit more poetic) and We can say the same thing about Chivalric Romances 

(they were like uh... the rom-coms of their time... But of course, not as good as today's material. Civilization has improved.

(By the way, I think there's no Mr. Right for you Hellen Degeneres. And Who da fuck though that a movie where Meg Ryan meets Wolverine - as an 18th century time traveler?!!!- would be a good idea?)

Romance is at the core of Amadis de Gaula and Orlando Furioso; and even in minor works like Cirongilio de Tracia you got tons of love letters and declarations of eternal luuuve.  

For don Quixote Dulcinea is like the ultimate ideal of love, because he doesn't even know her! And that's the merit in it.

He madly loves her just of what he has heard of her... And yes that's fucking crazy! but not a lot more than like... I don't know, getting a Russian Bride from a dating website, you know... to sponsor

Then, in the second part of the novel, he wants to actually meet his lady; so he travels to El Toboso... and - of course - because he has never met her before, Sancho Panza, his squire and loyal sidekick, actually tries to deceive his master by making him believe that three random filthy peasants that come from working the fields mounted on their burritos, are Dulcinea del Toboso and two of her virginal maids...

In any chapter of the first part of the novel (1605) don Quixote would just idealize and he would see three gorgeous women, mounting magnificent white horses,dressed as princesses

(like what he did when he met that cocksucker Maritornes)...

But now something weird happens, Don Quixote can only see reality! When there are three smelly, sweaty peasants; he sees lowlife disgusting vulgar peasants; and Sancho is there putting beauty to the picture: lying his ass off; describing how beautiful they are, how refined their movements, how nice their odour feels... the odour is important, don Quixote later says that the thing that really got to him was the garlic smell that came from Dulcinea's mouth!

Same thing happens with our Officer K. He's in love with an AI, she calls him Joe, and he buy her presents (Oh, aren't they cute?).

I don't know how that happened! Is never shown.But he lives in a shitty part of the world where even the little people are being racist to him (and you know, you gotta be pretty fucking low in the social scale when a goddamn midget is calling you a skinjob)

... and then I guess he was feeling lonely, and went

to that Captain Phillips black dude and traded him the AI for some replicant smelly turd

Joi is first introduced to us in 50's garments, so she's like the embodiment of Hollywood's ideal of a Waifu: with a classic meal, having a drink with you, lighting your cigarettes, lifting your feet after a hard long day at the office... bringing you some hookers...  and sometimes you just wanna believe your woman when she tells you, with that sweet Siri voice "I always knew you were special" So, yeah, he fell for it.

   

You, the spectator, start wondering, because you know nothing about this world: Is she fucking real? - you know?- Does she have like real feelings for him? Maybe in the future humanity made AI's evolve so much that now they have like real feelings and shit

Nope! She was just a fucking tramp. A Whore!

She was just saying the things he wanted to hear: because she's selling a product. She is the product!; and that's the most shocking reveal this movie has... Nothing is real, similar to the first Blade Runner when you suddenly discover that even memories could be implanted... and then that Deckard might be really a goddamn unicorn? I didn't get that part...

All this, reminds me of another don Quixote moment when our hero in Montesinos cave has a dream in which Dulcinea in peasant form ask him for - I don't know how to translate this: "prestarle sobre este faldellín [...] media docena de reales" she's asking for money on some undergarments? Which is something the prostitutes back in the 1600s used to say, is the equivalent of:

Our narrators way of saying that Dulcinea-Aldonza was nothing but a prostitute the WHOLE time (there were some allusions made by the playful malice of Sancho... but nothing concrete, you know? This is like definitive: She was a whore, and deep down he knows it.)  Imagine the disappointment of our hero. This is a pivotal moment in the novel. Beyond this point don Quixote cannot see other thing but reality. It destroys his soul. 

There's nothing left for him now but to die... he cannot continue to be a chevalier! He cannot longer be special in this lousy world of us. Because deep down he knows he was a moron all along.

I can't get why some people only laugh with the Quixote, because at the same time it's so freaking sad, right?! 

Same deal here. It's soul crushing for K: the thing that really gets to him is not Luv breaking the inmanator, but later seeing the virtual ad of Joi in her pleasure model version... he is of course seeking her, and what he finds is that... she never existed.

I say: What a dirty dog! 

Well in any case it really is a love story. Otherwise why so much emphasis on how faithful he is to her?. He refuses advances from four women (well one milf and three skinjobs really... but what a tempting skinjobs those are, uh?)

Everyone wants to fuck Ryan Gospel these days! I think he could like even fuck the one that is in the glass cage eeeeasily, and not because that little bird is locked and cannot escape, but rather she was kind of flirting with him. From what I got she was a photographer. I didn't get why she was in the movie though... Meh, probably candy for the eye...

(by pelida77)

Fences (2016) or How Hollywood is filled with racist pricks

Fences (2016, Denzel Washington) 

Was I in a fucking Time travel machine and we are back in the 30s?

Because, sometimes I feel like Marthin Luther King, or the Greensboro sit-ins never came to pass. Suddenly Trump is president and they didn't give Fences more Oscars because it was a nigro movie. 

They threw Oscars like candies to 12 years a Slave, Black Schindler's List... pft Ha!, a fucking cheap melodrama that looked like a terrible Mexican Telenovela. But this movie that is all about real African Americans, the pain and the moral strength of the black people, real human relationships, couples and parenthood,  gets nothing...fucked in the ass. The real thing not the:

I call it the Soap Moment. The point should be that is wrong to whoop a human being, and not that is  wrong to whoop her "just for a soap" (the scene ends with the camera zooming-in on the soap. Distasteful)

Similar moment on a last year movie:

Why she says Timbuktuuu like that?

(Judging by the posters I though Hidden Figures was a comedy about chubby chicks trying to hide their bodies; like, to go out at night and score).

They gave Lupita Mungu or whatever an Oscar because it makes a nice story: and then they forgot her, back to the dumpster where they found her (same with Precious, who's probably back to her chicken by now)

Oh no! She's in Star Wars, let me guess: Is she a cool Jedi? No! Is the most racist animated character I witness since the days of Little Black Sambo and shit. They didn't want to portray her as... black! They can't use White (which is what they wanted) or green (cause of Yoda)  So they made her brown, but not brown brown, like skin brown: they made her look like shit. Brown in like diarrhea shit.

Denzel Washington gives the performance of a lifetime. Did he get an Oscar: No! Why? Because you already got one boy, we gave you one for pretending to smoke some crack and shit with Ethan Hawke, showing him the ways of the hood. Yeah!

They throw a bone to Viola Davis. Best Female Support. WTF is that!!? She's not supporting anything, she's a main character. They're even together in the fucking prom poster. Mr Bono was a good support! Give him an Oscar.

Best female support my ass. Best Female support that's the kind of Oscar you reserve for the non-white people!  

And then poor Viola cries on stage and makes all that fuzz in her speech, and I totally get her: you take what you can and you run!

It's gotta be really hard seeing year after year some stupid White trash cunt like Jennifer Lawrence and others getting recognition, respect, and for you well... there's nothing: just because of the color of your skin. Oh Lord, isn't that the truth?

Actor in Leading Role? Casey Affleck, Ben Affleck's even more White Brother, and even more un-charismatic if that's any possible!

HE SUCKS! And Manchester by the City is SO fucking boring. His kids fell sleep while burning in the fire for having such a boring dad.

Seems to me, acting in the new Hollywood is looking very tired, and depressed and speak very softly, to make audiences wanna kill themselves.

Actor Supporting Role? Let me guess... Yeah a black man. The consolation prize. Mahershala Ali. 

Great character by the way: the crack dealer with a heart of gold...

Now, the movie is fine (though slow dawg!), but Why da fuck did you gave him an Oscar for?  Well, at least that's a support character alright: Cottonmouth is not in the movie for more than 8 minutes!!! And he does nothing, nothing at all... I don't get it.

Not even a nomination for Denzel as Best Director... ya'know who got a nomination for that? 

Mel Gibson, because Hollywood decided it was time to move on from all that alcoholic anti-semite outburst he was "involve" in the past, (you can't be involve in something like that, either you are a racist or you're not...)

“I will report her to the f***ing people that take f***ing money from the wetbacks."

“You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”

"[Talking about gay people] They take it up the ass. This is only for taking a shit."

Just some minor examples of Mel Gibson's Poetry right there.) But, y'know What? Whatever, I do agree there's worse people than Mel Gibson.

The main issue is that his movie The Hacksaw Bridge sucks. Lemme tell you: There's no bridge over that River Kwai... (and in fact there's no bridge at all to blow out in the movie, it's all about some fucking cliff) Two hours of boredom, with the SpiderMan guy climbing the cliff with ropes and saving the day in the war but refusing to touch a gun...  He could just pretend he's firing the gun like kids do, you know? like: Piu Piu! Piu Piu! 

The movie is so bad I'm almost tempted to talk about it, just one thing to summer-up: Vince Vaungh casted as the Senior Instructor for the recruits. You gotta be effing joking me, right? 

A role that was elevated to the fineness excellencies of art by this fella

What a jingoistic piece of shit. I think Mel did it just to have the opportunity to burn some Asians to the bones with a flamethrower, that racist christian extremist motherfucker.

And then people complaint about how La La Land was racist because Ryan Gospel character wasn't black. He likes Jazz he should be black. Fuck You: music has no color.

Moonlight is a fine movie... is really about self discovery...  "At some point you gotta decide for yourself who you gon' be. Can't let nobody make that decision for you." 

But you know why they gave Moonlight best picture? Because last year there was all this diversity controversy: all 20 actors, and the 5 directors nominees were Whites (as always, I don't know why they just realized it last year).

So they said, this year we're gonna prize a movie about a black kid that happens to be also gay, like double jackpot, right? Let's also give some of the shitty Oscars to the good old black folks.

But they even fucked that up with the whole La La Land won thing! I can't believe it. I would think they did it on purpose if not for one minor detail on the whole mess: Warren Beatty read that shit... And my theory is that he is the one that fucked up! Because, he's really OLD! and old people usually mess up things. 

I think he's secretly 97 by now (These fuckers always lie on their age).

They call him a living legend. Well, to me what's legendary is that he's still breathing, right?

Kids: stay away from alcohol and drugs but not from pussy: The Fountain of Youth (according to a rumor, Warren Beatty fucked at least 3000 bunnies through a secret tunnel that lead from his house to Hugh Hefner's mansion. I'm not making this up: This is real. It seems Jack Nicholson was there too)

But the thing is, when you are old, you're not fully functional... I mean in the mind. So, yeah, I think he wished the White movie to win (I fell in love with La La Land too, it's a better movie than Moonlight) and then made an honest mistake or mix up the envelopes, I don't know, and then they covered him up.    

Well get ready for next year, if we get like the Citizen Kane of Black movies, it won't make a damn difference: they already prized Moonlight this year and Halley Berry in the past for looking black sugar super hot on a swimming suit.

(Oh yeah it was for Monster's Balls... pff Ha, Right!)  

By pelida77