Let me tell you a story about a guy. His name was Anthony Claire. Worked as an actor, wishing some day he'd become rich and famous. Each single night he had sex with this astonishing gorgeous blonde: Mélanie Laurent, also known as the au-revoir Shoshanna girl, or even the other girl (super hot too), or both in a threesome... Those days! Riding a bike. Feeling the wind on his face. Living the dream! Very happy. Free!
But then something terrible happen (it felt like an explosion... or like a car accident: Boom on his face!!!) Blondie "forgot" to take her birth control pills, and now she's knocked up.
So, is the oldest story really. Like something taken from certain 80's masterpiece
He had to get married, had to get like a real job, like a boring life now. Now he is a History teacher. He's teaching history for God's sake!!! Could you imagine a worse destiny?
And she made him do it! She's the one controlling everything now... like in a Dictatorship, "control, is all about control"... or like a... like a spider.
That's it! A giant disgusting hairy Spider! With her spider webs all over the place, feeling the vibrations on her web, ready to make a meal out of you, searching your pockets, looking through your internet browser history, your phone calls, msgs...
Whenever he says no, whenever he puts a limit, they get into a fight... and you know there's no possible victory from that, cause she's pregnant now (and so she is "Fra-gile") also she's the one with the vagina, so if the guy refuse to submit he won't get any action.
Vagina and spiders... I'm gonna point out this -for the third time in this blog I think - Hairy spiders are a symbol of the vagina.
I don't know why?!!!... I guess snatches are hairy too... I guess they catch unwary insects (I don't mean snatches here, I meant spiders, or did I?... idk, lost myself in the analogy...) Well whatever, they catch insects with their webs (which they produce right out of their abdomen)
Get their food without having to fight for it? It's the primary trickster animal!
I'm not the one being misogynistic. Myths are! You can blame Claude Lévi Strauss, and sir James George Frazer for it
So, yeah: like in that scene where he wants to get some (after watching the movie), but she won't unless he gets a new job.
Or the scene where they are having sex and suddenly she starts screaming cause she sees the mark of the ring on his finger (like a destiny thing) but not ring on it: Symbolically she demands to get married!
Yes. We are not talking about just one guy here, but also about one woman (not two).
Anyway, she did it. Her life's achievement. Something to be proud of. The Spider-Woman. With her Spider-Ally: The Mother.
Doesn't matter if she's your mother or hers... Women always fight each other or become allies... and, I tell you, you sorry sob, you better pray they like each other and choose to be allies...
Anthony is no longer an individual... He is a... an Adam Bell now.
Disgusting, just disgusting...
Dressing that white shirt with brown yellow trousers (no more leather jackets for him). Teaching History (poetry's boring sister). Driving a van. Talking with his colleagues about movies (not women). He's just a shadow of his former self: crying silently, nestled over the couch, waiting for her to come and "take" him. After the mating, she'll eat him alive. Devour his soul.
This guy we're talking about he's on the verge of suicide. Sometimes he fantasizes: "What if I crash this FUCKING car and kill us both? I swear... if she starts again, I'll do it... I'll do it!"
Fortunately, he finds a healthiest path. The immemorial solution to this eternal problem. He -of course-, resorts to hookers.
[I feel like this just gave me the perfect excuse to compose a big collage of my favorite movie hookers!]
You know, hookers are spiders too. Trust me, you don't want to get in a liaison with a hooker. But the thing is that for the right price they're always available. They might have spider heads (that's why you don't kiss them) but their bodies remain feminine... human.
That's more than you can say about wives. As soon as they get married they start eating. And they don't shave. And they leave their panties on the handle of the shower. And everything starts to fall: varicose veins, stretch marks, acne. You don't wanna know the whole picture.
Whatever. In a dark room of some lost motel, waiting for the hooker. this guy finds himself.
"Oooh, there you are Peter!!!"
And then accepts who he really is: I'm a Man, goddammit! I have needs. I want to breath. I have hopes and dreams. I want to join a gentleman's secret sex club!
So he gets a key (identical to Eyes Wide Shut).
And here we come to the end of our story... I don't know how some people get that the spider at the end of the movie is afraid of him.
Watch the scene again. That spider is FURIOUS!!! She's about to jump and rip his freaking head off.
"What do you mean you think you can go out?! Where to? Whit Whom?! Cause honey... I've just talked to your mother - the only other human being you're allowed to interact with -, and I KNOW you're not going out with her! So... Wait a minute! What's that in your pocket?!!! Is that a Personal and Confidential White Envelope? Are you lying to me? Are you hiding things from me? Do you have like an interior life I know nothing about?!!"
Ok. That's one plausible explanation. The other one is that she's finally having the baby. This movie is like Alien (upside down) and the coming of the baby is like the spider-alien here.
Yeah I know she's only 6 months, but this guy's mind is all twisted up, so... Who knows really.
When women go into labor they tend to blame their husbands (specially with the first child):
"Go grab the bag. Don't forget the papers. Drive faster you stupid sob, you want me to have this baby here? On this filthy street? Where I could catch filthy street diseases? Slower you maniac!!!, you wanna kill us both? You wanna murder your own offspring?!
Take that one. A jam, I told you not to go this way!!! Call mom. Get the doctor. Call YOUR mother. Get the nurse. Get me some epidural. Stop breathing: I'm the one in labor!"
So, yeah. Great movie. A pain to watch.
(by pelida77)
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